If you met me in my teens, you would hear me go on and on about "true love". My life revolved around my boyfriend. I was only 14. My only ambition was to be someone's wife.
By 15, a year into our relationship, he thought that I was cheating on him with the new kid in school. At 16, I messed up my O levels (at least I felt I could have done better), cause I was too busy trying to fixed my relationship. #MajorStupid1
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At 17, after the 2 and a half years relationship ended, I moved on to start a relationship that lasted way longer than it should have. I/Love let him controlled my life. No short skirts, no guy friends, no sleeveless tops, no gatherings.
Even thought things changed later in our relationship, and he "returned" me my freedom, but by then my whole life changed. Knowing he wasn't The One, I left him and six years of my youth. #MajorStupid2
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At 23, still young and reckless, dying to get out of a relationship, I accidentally fell in love again. I fell stupidly in love with a guy who had a track record of relationships that lasted no longer than three months; a recipe for a broken heart.
The relationship lasted officially for a year and a half, and unofficially for another two years after. In the two years, he loved, and left. And returned, and left again. I forgive and forget. Forgot that he cheated, he lied, met random girls, slept around, got drunk... one night, he slept in his puke at the bus stop below my home, a stranger answered my call on his phone. He could have been robbed, or kidnapped or killed that night.
After "breaking up" for 23573 times, I still stood by him, cus he made me believe he loves me.
#MajorStupid3
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Every so often, I hear them say that I'm the best girlfriend that. That they loved me the most even till today. Even their family still invite me to their home to catch up. I wonder, did I really turn myself backwards to please these people?
Today, standing alone, I still believe in the four letter word. I hope I do.
I don't feel my heart. I can't listen to my brain.
I guess, someday, some nice guy will find that tiny corner in my heart.
But till then, I'm going to be smart for awhile.
Well, it's been 12 years since I was smart.
I don't feel my heart. I can't listen to my brain.
I guess, someday, some nice guy will find that tiny corner in my heart.
But till then, I'm going to be smart for awhile.
Well, it's been 12 years since I was smart.
