I was feeling nostalgic recently cause it was Charles’s mom’s birthday few days ago. Or maybe cause there were Panda merchandise all over the Shanghai airport where I was in transit back to Singapore.
I guessed she knew we were no longer together. She didn’t say anything about Charles when I texted to wish her for her birthday. I could feel her smile as she gave me her blessings. That she genuinely cared for my well being.
When we were together, his Mom kinda wished we would be together forever. She talked a lot about planning for our future. She talked about getting a flat soon.
One afternoon at his place, she talked to me for hours. She talked about Charles as a kid. About the family. About her life. She talked about her overseas trip. It was a nice warm feeling. That afternoon, I learned a lot from her.
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Tonight, I looked through the couple app we had together. All the good and bad memories we recorded in it together. And then there were all the selfies we took together. Surprisingly, I smiled. Soon I realised the anger and hatred left me.
A little birdie told me that he is happy with his life now.
I won’t be pretentious and great to wish him happiness… If anything, I would wish him the power to be faithful.
At times, I feel sad for him. Because even his friends did not have faith in him. They said,"he would do the same to her","you just wait and see". As though he was a worthless, lousy person.
Other times, I was actually worried for the girl he is seeing. The happier she is now, the harder she will fall.
My relationship with him hardened my heart so much that I no longer feel any ounce of hurt when I found out he slept with another girl. It would be sad if another girl loses hope in love because of him. #Saying it out for the first time, since I no longer need to protect his image.
#beentheredonethat
#livedtotellthetale
Maybe, if any girl survives three years with him and still feel happiness, I would give them my blessings. And probably a medal for having a heart as hard as mine.
My friends call me heartless, I chose to believe it's love. Then I realised... it's stupidity and a waste of time.
But if I were to choose, I would choose to do it all again in a heartbeat.
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ps: I actually have friends who believed that he would return after he had enough fun.
