Big BOO BOO! Cause I'm unhappy about a lot of stuff. Been thinking a lot and I think if we can't be happy now, we won't be able to solve our differences and be happy in the future. What I'm asking for is not just time, but for fate to tell me if I'm doing the right thing. And until the day I can be honest and open to my boyf, I won't get attached.Maybe you're right, maybe I can't see the change. But if I don't like what I see now, then it's back to square one, no? I know that I keep finding fault and complaining about things you do or say. I know you tried to change. You even went to the extend of peeling my prawns. But that's not how I want you to change. If you're doing for the sake of doing just to make me happy, that's not you, and I don't like it.
Till now, I'm still unable to say "Yes this is the guy I love, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him". I'm losing faith in love. And I can't be in a relationship like that.
The problems that we faced when we broke up, it's still there. I don't want you to wait for me. Just get on with your life. If we're meant to be, we'll be tgt. I don't want you to waste time on me. If it means that we cannot go out any more, so be it.
And with regards to the other guy, let me repeat that we're just friends. Maybe a very close friend, an old friend. I've repeated many times and I don't want to talk about it anymore. If it bothers you, then I'm sorry but that's all I want to say. He's always been around, and will always be. Things has been like that all my life, even before you came along. I won't sacrifice this for you.
They say that I'm giving you hope. It's not that I don't want to let go, but I can't. Letting go means I'll lost you as a friend as well. I don't want things to turn out that way. I don't know lah. Maybe I'm just screwed. Maybe there's something wrong with my thinking. Just leave me alone kays. You get on with your life.
I'm starving thus going to bed now! Tmr's gonna be a better day! I'm already TWENTY ONE!! Shan't waste time on crazy little thing called LOVE.
